I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Hippo gnu deer
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
