Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Will exercising make me less horny?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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