For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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