So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
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He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
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I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..