Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
