I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it