you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.