i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
