you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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