apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
