So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
