So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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