i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
