my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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