so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
so much tequila, so little girl.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
