And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
