i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
