it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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