David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
