when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize