Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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