Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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