hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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