Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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