So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
