We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
