The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
