If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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