Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
