If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize