This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
