Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
