I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize