Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
