Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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