i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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