just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
