Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I think i got beer on your cat.
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