i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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