I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
