His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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