You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
