Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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