We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
