Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
