IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
