First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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