This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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