sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
