dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
