The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
