i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
