I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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