Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
