roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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