I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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