in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
