one might say we're banned from that church
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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