Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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