Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
