Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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