the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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