what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
