Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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