i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize