Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
