I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize