I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
