How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
