dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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