I wish my penis had an off switch
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
ttyl tear gas
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Boobs are out for the taking
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
